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Toilet Paper

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Whats dumb? Instructions on toilet paper.
Whats dumber than that? reading them.

Whats even dumber? Reading them and learning something.

Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you've been doing wrong.

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Laughter File

Submitted by :M Magic
Category : Insults
Date Added : 22/10/2005
Rated : 1068

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Bonus Joke - Congress' Night Before Christmas

"Twas the week before Christmas and those sly little elves, Our congressmen, labored to better themselves. They cared not a whit what the public might think "Let them eat cake," some said with a wink.

And putting their thumbs to the tip of their nose, they waved as they shouted "Anything goes!"

They scoffed at the thought that we might object, to a tax cut for the wealthy of a posh percent. They've got prerequisites-franking, per diem, and more -- bargain-priced haircuts and gyms (three or four!)

Paid speaking engagements and meals on the cuff, celebrity status -- (they've sure got it tough!),

Yet they claim they're in touch with the man on the street, as John Q. Public struggles to make both ends meet. If all workers decided what they were due, they'd be getting those fat paychecks too!

But while we take cutbacks or raises quite small, and one out of 20 has no job at all, our millionaire Congress decides on the budget land trimming Medicare and Medicaid will do it, they say.

In this season for giving, our Congress is taking. We've had it with them and our backs are breaking. With hard times, disasters, and layoffs on our dockets, we bit the bullet and they fill their pockets!

Oh jobless, oh homeless, oh desperate and needy - dare anyone say our Congress is greedy?

If in this feeling I'm not alone, take up your pen or pick up your phone. As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly, let the road of your anger mount to the sky.

Indignant, outraged, appalled and beset let your congressman know that you won't forget! When election times comes -- and certain it will -- you're voting him out for passing that bill.

More rapid than eagles, their elections assured they toasted each other and laughed at the herd. And I heard them exclaim with adjournment at hand,

"Merry Christmas to us, and the public be damned!



Submitted by : Standup Dude



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