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Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says ?I don?t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.?
The husband says ?WHAT???

The wife says, ?You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman.?

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.

He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can?t decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. Then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, ?But you don?t even play tennis, but OK, if you like it then let?s get it.?

The wife is jumping up and down ? she?s so excited, she cannot believe what is going on.

She says ?I?m ready to go, let?s go to the cash register.? The husband says, ?No - no - no, honey we?re not going to buy all this stuff.? The wife?s face goes blank, ?No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.?

Her face gets really mad and she is about to explode and the husband says ?You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man.?

Laughter File

Submitted by :Practical Joker
Category : Naughty Jokes
Date Added : 22/10/2005
Rated : 416

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Bonus Joke - Who's Your Daddy?

A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming. He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized. "Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you,I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of who fathers her children!" However, he was somewhat flattered that he might resemble one of her former lovers.Then again he got a little panicky. "I don't remember her," he thought but, MAYBE....during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child! He sat in his car, holding his head in his hands, never realizing that she was his son's second grade teacher.

Submitted by : Dave T